The Worst Couple of Roommates Ever
by shvartzit
Summary: MidKino Week - Roommates! Yukino is sick of Lucy and her boyfriend violating her life, but that was bearable. It is not, however, acceptable to let someone nap on their couch and letting him eat the last slice of chocolate cream pie.


**The Worst Couple of Roommates Ever**

Yukino irately unlocked the door to her shared apartment suspiciously.

Three months ago her roommate, her best friend since childhood, and her 'twin sister' (she already had a sister, but she never really counts Sorano), Lucy Heartfilia, found her 'soul mate' and Yukino was so happy for her… until the jerk all but moved in and made himself comfortable.

Erik was an interesting fella that was for sure. He enjoyed horror movies, he hated people 85% of the time (10 of the remaining 15 percent were spent with Lucy as of late, and mostly in their apartment, so Yukino was still on his good side), had a scar over his closed right eye and every time someone asked about it he liked to tell a different story, recently with Lucy's help, and Yukino already developed the ability to recognize him by the exact shade of his mocha colored ass from walking in on the pair having sex all the time. No one was particularly happy about that part honestly…

But Yukino wanted to be happy for her friend, she really did, it was just very difficult when her home was suddenly constantly invaded and defiled.

She was sick of it. Why does she need to sneak into _her own home_ because she doesn't want to see Erik and Lucy when they're christening the kitchen's counter?

The amount of relief she felt when she couldn't hear shuffling or movement except for the noises of the TV was unnatural. Of course, the TV being on was slightly annoying, but it meant that if Erik was lurking around, at least he was asleep,

The light-blue haired 20 years old dropped her key ring in the bowl on the counter by the right side of the door, hung her coat on the designated hook across from the counter and walked passed the living room in favor of the kitchen.

Three days earlier, Lucy ( _amazing, brilliant, kind Lucy_ ) made Yukino's favorite cake to compensate for all the fuck ups (literally) that she had to put up with lately.

The cake was a two layered chocolate cream pie, absolute perfection, Yukino's favorite food in the whole world, and even Erik knew he wasn't allowed to touch the last piece she left in the fridge.

That last piece of cake was the only thing that helped her go through this unholy day she just had, and Yukino happily opened the fridge so she could finally have that tiny little piece of heaven her blonde friend made just for her.

 _It was gone_.

The dual colored chocolate cake was gone!

She knew for a fact it was on the second shelf from the top, on a light blue plate (the shade of her hair), with little white flowers on it, _and it wasn't there anymore_!

" _No_!" a horrified cry slipped out of her.

How could this day get any worse?! The only good thing about it was already gone, and she didn't even get to enjoy it!

With her head low and her shoulders slouched, Yukino made a bee line to her room. She threw her bag in the corner, changed into her comfiest pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt Rogue left in her closet for emergencies (like right at that moment), and left her room, listing in her head the movies that usually lifted her spirits in days like this one.

But when she reached the couch she discovered a second unpleasant surprise, so she did the only logical thing she could think of – she screamed.

The stranger on her couch only stirred a bit in his sleep, then snuggled into the couch some more and continued to sleep as if she didn't just scream right next to him like she was being murdered.

Yukino gaped at the man in shock, not sure which was weirder, his presence on her couch, or his appearance (although she really didn't think she knew anyone that could pull off the black-white emo make-up and hair combination, and even look that attractive with black lipstick… _Bad Yukino! Don't drool over the hot intruder!_ ).

As she simultaneously tried to figure out what to do and appreciate his looks without getting distracted, she noticed something on the floor. An empty light blue plate with little white flowers.

Yukino didn't care who he was anymore, the guy was dead.

Like a mad woman on a mission, she marched to her room, took her sparkly pink bat and marched right back to the couch, then hit the man without batting a lash.

If noise didn't wake him, then pain will.

And wake him she did. With a very satisfying _THUD!_ As her bat hit his ribs and a shout of pain escaping his lips, the man's eyes shot open.

" _What the fuck?!_ "

"Don't make a move! Who are you and what the hell are you doing on my couch, you chocolate cream pie eating jerk?!" Yukino ignored his moans of pain, holding her bat in position above her head, ready to strike again.

The man was confused, she realized. But it was his fault, she reasoned to herself, who breaks into someone's apartment, have some cake, and then takes a nap in front of the TV in the first place?

When a pair of beautiful ruby red eyes locked onto her own coffee colored ones, Yukino felt a small part of her determination melt away. But only a little.

She relaxed her posture a bit, and the man raised a hand as if to shield his face, "don't hit me!"

"Then answer my questions!" she retorted.

"I think you cracked a rib… wait! I'll answer, I'll answer, just lose the fucking bat!"

Huffing, Yukino leaned the bat against the coffee table and looked down at the (probably injured) man with her arms crossed across her chest as she channeled her inner Sorano.

"Look, my name is Macbeth, I'm Cobra's friend, he said I can sleep in his girlfriend's place," panic and worry flashed in his red eyes. "Am I in the wrong apartment by any chance? He said 4B."

Yukino felt like pulling out violently her light blue hairs in frustration.

"Cobra as in Erik?" Macbeth nodded eagerly; glad he seemed to be out of danger for the moment.

Yukino opened her mouth and let out something between a groan and a sigh of exasperation as she dropped to the floor by her bat.

 _Of course_ he was Erik's friend. The fucker screwing her pseudo sister screwed with her own life just as much, and this was the last straw.

First, he invaded her home. Then, he drove her out of her home constantly. And _now_ he let his friend permission to nap on her couch unannounced, which resulted in the worst crime Yukino could imagine – the guy finished her favorite cake.

She cracked a stranger's ribs for fuck's sake!

"I'm so sorry about… well, everything. I had a shitty day and nobody told me you were supposed to be here…" _or about your existence_ , she added in her head. "I'm Yukino, Lucy's roommate, you can call me Yuki or Kino if you want." She offered weakly.

"Then you can call me Midnight, it's only fair." Both smiled softly at each other for a moment, Yukino with a pink dust coloring her cheeks.

She helped him sit up, managed to identify his ribs as bruised, not cracked or broken, and put the bat and empty plate back in their appropriate places.

After a few more awkward moments together, Midnight explained that he was sharing an apartment with Erik, and that, just like her, he hated living with that never ending fear that he might possibly walk in on the new couple, or in his case – wake up to the two of them naked and fucking. So once Cobra told him he was bringing the blonde over, Macbeth refused to be in the apartment at the same time as them, which was why he was offered to stay here.

This led to a bonding session unlike any other over a bottle of wine, as both Yukino and Macbeth complained about their roommates' inconsiderate behavior as of late, since they started dating one another.

When Lucy finally returned to her apartment quite some time later (dragging Erik with her, because Yukino won't murder her for not telling her about Macbeth if there were witnesses), she was _not_ expecting to see the two making out on the couch with an empty bottle of wine on the floor.

"What the hell?!"

Macbeth stopped trailing kisses up Yukino's neck to lazily look at the couple that just walked in. on top of him, Yukino was flushed a beautiful shade of pink, and he was quickly starting to lose interest in his best friend and the blonde staring next to him.

"Not that nice to be on the other side for once, huh?" he said with a smug smirk.

Lucy, still imitating a fish, shook her head 'no' slowly. Erik however, adapted to the situation much faster than his girlfriend, "C'mon, babe, let's leave them alone."

He started to lead her out of the apartment when Yukino called out to them. "Luce, Erik can move in and I'll move out to live with Macbeth, or the other way around, if you want~"

The blonde was pale by the time they reach the elevator. Erik was already warming up to the idea of living exclusively with the busty blonde, and the lecherous smirk on his face showed it.

When the elevator started to descend Lucy dug her fingers into her boyfriend's arm.

" _What just happened?_ "

 **()()**  
 **(O.O)**

 **Word count: 1604**

 **So... Who do you think is the worst roommate out of those two couples?  
**

 **I know it's too late for MidKino week, but I was participating in LaLu week, plus I had Winter exam season, and therefore didn't have the time to write for both ship weeks...  
**

 **But! I was very inspired by Empess of Evrything's submissions (by the way, this one is dedicated to _you_ ),and you should expect a few more one shots that include CoLu in them in the relatively near future (one of them is almost finished in the notebook so...)**

 **Honestly, I had this one written for like 2 weeks in my notebook and I just didn't have the time to type it on my computer until now (now is midnight after a long day and 3 hours on a bus and I have to be up again in 6 hours... why do I keep doing that to myself?)**

 **Good night? morning? afternoon?**

 **leave a review for the review junkie (a.k.a. me~)!**


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